I recently returned from vacation. I had a blast and made memories, and I was inspired to write this post. As a writer, it’s lovely when coming up with ideas is almost or totally effortless.
What I’m about to share will change your travel experience and life. I’m not one for exaggeration unless it’s to make a point, but my claim that this is life-changing is not hyperbolic.
A few years ago, I read a book in which the author suggested something that at the time I thought was too simple. I’m paraphrasing, but the idea is that one should give at least a few minutes of their time to people by engaging in conversation.
Keeping in mind that the above is a paraphrase, I will explain why this is such a powerful practice to me, what people often do instead and what this better path forward can look like practically.
The Power of Giving of Your Time
Talking with people in a manner that displays genuine care and interest is rewarding. Doing the same thing when engaging with someone you may find annoying or someone you’ve just met is even more rewarding.
Some of my most fulfilling interactions have been with tour guides, food servers, other vacationers and other people I have never known prior to meeting them. On more than one occasion, these conversations have resulted in close friendships.
I call this my traveling tip because this better method and mindset to engage with the people around me has been most fruitful during vacations. I’ve met with interesting people who became dear friends as a result of embracing this practice and not passing up opportunities to meet new people and hear what they have to say.
Please understand that I’m not saying we need to be everyone’s best friend. I don’t think we should. However, I believe we should treat even the person we find most irritating with respect and see them as worthy of our time, especially when they seem in need of a listening ear.
Scenarios to Consider
Picture a person who wakes up, goes about their morning either as routinely or spontaneously as they usually do and rockets out the door engulfed in their own thoughts.
When this person enters the local coffee shop to grab their morning brew, they’re not necessarily rude but impatient. As they stand in line, they regretfully spot an acquaintance they mostly consider annoying.
Hoping this acquaintance didn’t notice them as well, they begin to put on their best performance, acting as though they are having a serious discussion on the phone.
The barista hands the coffee over to the impatient customer only to receive a nod in return. This is one scenario.
Another scenario could include eager travelers waiting to finish checking into their hotel room. They’re excited, of course. However, they fail to propel the conversation forward when the tired but helpful employee asks how they are doing.
Many of the family members are glued to their phones, but the one family member who’s listening replies with a quick, canned and disinterested “Fine, thank you.”
For some, acting that way may not come from a place of negative intent. At the same time, what sometimes sits beneath such speech and tone is a view of people being obstacles to one’s end goal.
Take the coffee shop scenario for an example. The impatient customer avoided the acquaintance so as to not encounter hindrances to the end goal.
The family in the other scenario didn’t take note of the tired employee looking for someone who would just hear their thoughts for a minute. These scenarios are obviously general and don’t account for other variables.
Be that as it may, my point is that if one isn’t careful, it’s easy to fall into the dangerous trap of treating someone, especially people who may annoy us, as an obstacle.
Someone may say that there’s a contrast between behaving this way intentionally and behaving this way unintentionally. The only difference is the intent, but the result is often the same.
Whether intentional or not, treating people as numbers only renders a negative impact. Everyone has either seen or been a food server who is on the receiving end of rude or indifferent customers.
The customer doesn’t make eye contact with the employee and speaks to them as if they’re a nuisance only there to serve them. Of course, there are also employees who dish out the behavior on a guest or customer undeserving of such treatment.
No matter what the scenario or the shoes one occupies, treating people this way is wrong. Furthermore, it’s negative and not conducive to truly enjoyable moments.
A Better Option
There’s a better way to communicate and interact with our fellow humans. I want to paint a brighter and more considerate picture.
Imagine you’re in line at your favorite place; you are minding your own business when someone you’ve never met tries to launch into a conversation with you. Sure, you want to return to your thoughts and be left alone.
Instead, you engage with the loud but kind individual. You learn that they’re buying meals for a family who finds themselves supporting a loved one battling sickness.
This individual is still loud, but by giving someone just a couple of minutes, you see them as a person and not a problem.
This is one example. The same enriching experiences can also occur at restaurants, schools and anywhere else. We must value our fellow humans and offer our time.
A Word of Caution
It’s potentially easy to read the above and think it’s an encouragement to throw boundaries away. Boundaries should not be eliminated. Valuing someone and taking an interest in what they have to say, whether it’s serious or light-hearted, is never an invitation to be mistreated.
The Thrilling Opportunity
Therefore, go boldly into this thrilling opportunity to value and impact people by sharing a few minutes of your time; be cautious, but remember that you never know the transformative impact this can have and the unexpected friends you can make.
JonChristopher Collins 